Ever feel like you don't fit?...

I was born and raised in (hotter than hell) Mesa, Arizona. That is pure city living right there.....and I 50x more than hate it. Anyone that knows me knows I hate living here. I am a native to this state. I will not die here if I have ANY say in it.

You can say you hate something when you have compared it to something WAY better than it. I have done just that....Colorado! I moved to CO in the middle of my senior year.....dumbest thing I ever did cause it messed up my credits.....for my boyfriend at the time. I was 17. My ex and his family moved to Durango. Absolutely beautiful. So much to do and so many things to learn. I loved it. I ended up moving back to AZ a few months later and finished high school at Mountain View. It was rough but I did it in time to graduate with my class. Then I moved back to CO.

This time they moved to a small town an hour away from Durango called Pagosa Springs. Breathtaking gorgeous....but stinky. lol. They have the natural hot springs there and The Springs Resort which I worked at for a while. Mountains and trees and nice people that wave to you when you drive by or say hi on the street. There were like 5 stop lights at the time.

To me, being from the city, this was as country as it could get for me. I felt like I belong there. I was comfortable enough to leave the freaking keys in the ignition when I went shopping or left the car. Bad stupid idea I know but I did it all the time. I have felt for a long long time that I need to be in the country living lifestyle away from the hustle and bustle of the city.

I have made it very clear that I am in love with country music and cowboys and rodeos. Anything that has to do with western living pretty much. When I meet new people, I tend to get remembered as kinda the cowgirl type. I don't do it on purpose. I just talk a lot about the things I like and I make banners and collages and widgets and tickers all about country. I nicknamed my fetus at the time, cowbaby. That was when we didnt know he was a he. I just don't feel like a city girl. Let me put it this way....My favorite woman is Gretchen Wilson. She's a gorgeous redneck....and I love her songs. I have been told I look like her and that makes me happier than a fat kid in a cake shop. lol.

My ex, Wade and I split up of course and I dated someone new, Devon. He left for the Army and we split up too. I moved back and forth from CO and AZ about a million times cause I'd get so caught up in my drama and think I could run away from it.

Now here I am back in AZ for about 5 years now or so. I have my handsome son Austin now. I get that things go a certain way for a reason but I just don't like the fact that my damn stars alligned the right way to make me live in AZ again. I am dying to go back to Pagosa or Durango or maybe even Colorado Springs. Dan agreed he doesn't want to live in AZ aymore. We'll see what happens. We'd like for Austin to grow up learning the Cowboy ways and not how to kill someone or become a theif.

Can you tell the difference?...One is Gretchen and one was faceinhole.com-ed with my face. Check it out.